A sensitive child spots empty praise instantly, and then stops believing you when something really is good.

It isn’t judgement they lack, it is having done it before. And that gets solved by rehearsing.

Telling something in words means ordering it first. Drawing it doesn’t. That is why what won’t come out in conversation comes out on paper.

It isn’t taught through speeches. It is built by falling over and getting up with someone nearby, many times.

Emptying their head doesn’t work. What works is giving them somewhere else to be, built by them and full of detail.

Tell them you’re going to do mindfulness and half the battle is lost. Tell them you’re going to play detectives and it’s won.

If everything that happens to them fits into three words, the rest is going to come out through the body.

One teaches self-regulation. The other teaches that when you’re having a hard time you’re on your own.

The same technique dressed up as a game. They work because the child doesn’t know they are doing an exercise.

Telling an upset child to breathe deeply is no use: in that state they don’t know how. You teach it beforehand, and through play.